1) When I ring the doorbell/knock, whoever is inside the house yells, "Who is it?!"
Okay dumbass, you're the one who ordered the pizza. Who do you think it is? Many times I am tempted to say, "International terrorists," "Your Mom," or "It's the motherfuckin' cops." Regardless of the answer, you're gonna have to get up off your fat ass and open the door anyway, so let's not beat around the bush.
2) When I knock/ring the doorbell several times, and am forced to stand outside in the blistering heat/pouring rain waiting for some doofus to claim their food.
You called us, we told you WHEN we'd be there, and yet you are still able to totally inconveinence me. Time = money, and you're throwing mine away like a newborn on prom night. Sometimes I have to resort to calling them with my cell phone because they are completely oblivious. If houses still had mail slots, I would just stuff the pizzas thru them and leave. Even if I didn't get the money, it would be worth it to make such a heinous, uncleanable mess in someone's mail slot.
3) People who don't tip.
This is self-explanatory. It's especially irritating now more than ever because a gallon of gas costs more than a gallon of chocolate milk, and I'd rather be drinking choc
olate milk than spending money on gas. A lot of times, at the end of the night, I'm just covering costs (and NOT drinking chocolate milk). Oh yeah, and if you don't tip, we totally remember who you are. We've got your address and phone number too. So next time, you might get a bonus topping of boogers on your Meat Lover Pizza (TM). And you won't be able to see them because EVERYTHING on the Meat Lover Pizza (TM) looks like boogers.So these are the 3 number one annoyances of driving. Among the minor issues are: fat guys answering the door in just their undies, houses with no freakin' numbers on them, getting tipped in coins only, being asked to "come around back" or find some other mysterious hidden entrance, delivering during storms/when traffic lights are OUT, people who drive like maniacs, and people who want to pay with their credit cards, but can never seem to find them.
SO in closing, please respect your delivery-people (unless they're delivering Chinese food) because we save you the trouble of driving to whatever food establishment that is most likely within a 3 mile radius of your house. And let me tell you, that's a lot of trouble. Who knows what could happen during that drive! You might kill a pedestrian, get struck by lightning, or just burst into flames altogether. That is the brave risk that we drivers take upon ourselves to ensure you receive quality food and service. Within 45 minutes.
